I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
