How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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