I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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