I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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