I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
