I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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