You smell like stripper and shame
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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