Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
