North Korea, Best Korea!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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