OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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