think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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