I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
