we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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