he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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