his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
