Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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