It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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