I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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