OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
