I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
