Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
