So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
