If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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