You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
