Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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