What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
