I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
