Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
