Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
