I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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