I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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