I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
