It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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