I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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