I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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