You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
