I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
