when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
