I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
