If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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