i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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