I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
