and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
