we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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