Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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