Your face is a jimmy john
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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