Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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