you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
