It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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