I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
