i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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