wrigley field is MILF paradise
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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