We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
