I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
