How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
