I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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