I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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