I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
