thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
