first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
