So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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