I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
