I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
