Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
