Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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