can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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