It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize