Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just googled if crying burns calories
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
